Being a grandfather re-awakens many long, dormant memories. A time when my kids were "new" and growing up. And I thought I was done with all of that (as rewarding as it was). Then came grandchildren. How wondrous! So very special watching your daughter or son with their new baby. Then, it's our time to spoil 'em and give 'em back to their parents. See ya later! At least that is what we and our friends say about our roles as grandparents. And we do, don't get me wrong, but it's that time that we are with them I hadn't really thought too much about. And I should have because that can seem to be a very, very long time.
I hadn't seen very many blogs from the grandfather's perspective so perhaps my blog may provide other grandfathers with some sense of comaraderie, support, kudos and just a good old "thank you" for what you do for your grandkids, your children and yourself. If nothing else, grandmothers, mothers and fathers might find it amusing! It could, also, document for us all, some memorable times along the way. At first, I wondered what in the world could I possibly write about. Then again, would anyone want to reading these musings. But after 4 grandchildren (2 girls and 2 boys) ranging from 6 months to 6 1/2 years, the idea that I may have sufficient "fodder" went out the window like my patience often does.
Patience. Ah........therein lies the rub!
Any of you other grandfathers out there feeling a kinship yet?
If there is anything a grandparent needs when being with young grandchildren (besides unconditional love) it is patience. I have not been blessed with a bounty of patience. (I am famous for the "if you don't stop crying you will never get ice cream again" incident - did I really say that? Wow!) It's just not in my DNA. Just ask my grandchildren's grandmother! That, fortunately, is what she possesses in abundance. Thank God for that. How many times have I heard - "just take a step back" or "now just take 10 deep breaths". Yep, that's me.
And by the way, any time I say MY grandchildren or MY children, I am really saying OUR grandchildren or OUR children. But then again, this is from my perspective, so..........
Oh, and if my wife reads this (which I am not totally sure should be permitted), I suspect she will have her own take on "my sense of the moment". A grandfather and grandmother see things just a "little" differently. Kind of like Bob Uecker (baseball announcer for the Milwaukee Brewers) saying as the pitcher throws a ball 10 feet behind the batter - "Just a little bit inside").
With more mothers and fathers both working, as well as the rise of single parent family units, the need for childcare is greater than ever. Yes, there are responsible "babysitters", as we had for our kids (mostly in the summer months) and there are large corporate daycare and childcare organizations that have sprung up to fulfill these needs. However, there is nothing like a member of the family when it comes to taking care of and helping to raise young children. Nada!
Sure, the sheer cost of childcare can be daunting or even unaffordable but beyond that the benefits of family childcare are immeasurable. Grandparents are a natural to serve in this capacity. Maybe not all grandparents, but certainly many have the love, caring nature, experience (even with decades removed), physical health (the ability to chase down a runaway toddler) and the opportunity to lend a helping hand. But arguably more than anything, it is critical that the grandparents WANT to take on this role. To do it begrudgingly only negatively impacts the grandparents themselves and the parents, but more importantly the grandchildren. And no one wants that.
Just think, we retire after working our adult lives and now have the luxury of more time (no one knows how much) to do things individually and as a couple that we have always wanted to but never seemed to have enough of that precious time. Things like traveling, learning something new, volunteering, playing golf, reading more or just feeling like you don't HAVE to do anything. Our reward for "toiling away" all those years. Ok, ok, it wasn't that bad at all. Anyway, now we have the chance to get to know the grandchildren better and for them to see that us "old folks" can be a lot of fun. It is a very special relationship and it needs to be fostered and nurtured to grow. It has to be something we WANT to do. And they need to feel that.
With that said...remember the "patience" thing?!
Patience testing moments:
- the "request" to play with My Little Ponies (grandpa?) until what seemed like the next millenia, or
- going ballistic just because they didn't want to wear pants to the park - as if there was something inherently wrong about that and I just didn't get it, or
- the refusal to eat anything but donuts ("no-nos" in their words) for breakfast, even though grandpa is sitting right there, right there in front of them, eating a donut, or
- having that cute little baby boy look at you with with a smile so big (I love you grandpa) and then spit up half is bottle on my nice new shirt, or
- eating shredded cheese out of the plastic bag with most of it ending up on the floor and not actually being consumed (and with no remorse or concern whatsoever - none), or
- poopy diapers (ok, that really can't be helped when they are younger...but still)
I never said it is easy. And I suspect other grandpas, grandads, papas, napas, bumpas and the many other names these kids come up with know the feeling.
Did I also say this is therapeutic? Yes, indeed!
Isn't it grand.
Great post!!
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