We all have someone or something we turn to when we feel lost or a little out of sync. We look to our significant other most often for comfort and counsel. I also immerse myself in music or writing to soothe my soul. Each of you has your own answer for inner peace.
It is no different for our grandchildren. Of course, they will seek out their Mom and Dad for the unconditional love and sanctuary that helps them deal with whatever it is that has created uncertainty or the imminent fear of the day. It’s also common that they develop a special bond with a “thing”. It is this object that is often the subject of hysterical melt downs if it cannot be found. Heaven forbid it was left at the mall or at a friends’ house. Worse yet....you have no idea where it is. This requires a herculean effort to retrace steps to retrieve the precious lost focus of their hysteria. The mission is clear - Don’t return without it! And I mean...DON’T! There is no alternative. At the same time we’re thinking - “its just that damn old ratty blanket for pete’s sake”. And you know what...our opinion means absolutely nothing.
Love Monster has had her “Bees” since she was born. A gift from a good friend of our daughter’s. She couldn’t say bear so Bees stuck. It has been stitched up several times and washed sparingly lest it fall apart. And that would not be a good thing. When she gets home after school she runs to find Bees and sniffs the paw just to make sure it hasn’t been replaced with another bear. She is at ease. She has misplaced Bees on occasion and in the words of our daughter, “Oh, this is always bad”. It has been left at school and at a friend’s house and they must go get him. Recently, Smirker, her sister, hid him and they looked everywhere until Smirker suggested, with a devilish grin, that they look in her backpack. And there he was. Love Monster was in tears - “I thought I’d lost him. He is my best friend.”
Smirker has Cowie, a stuffed, now well used, cow (obviously!). But in a pinch her stuffed dog will do. She seems to be a little more flexible than Love Monster. She left Cowie at school one time but they had to leave him there overnight. I am sure there was just a little anxiety until she could see him the next day.
Spiderman doesn’t just have one thing. He has his “stuff”. It includes a blue blanket, 2 brown pillows and a large sock monkey he calls Mick (an obvious reference to Mick Jagger because he is also skinny and has big lips). It is a package deal. His stuff is a must for his naps at our house and when he goes to bed at night. One day we forgot his blanket in our car when we took the boys home and we got a call that night from his Mom asking if we had it. Superman needed all his stuff. I found it in the car and took it over to his house and he was very thankful. The next day he said “it was sweet of me” to bring his blanket to him. Awwww.
Batman/Ball Boy was really into balls for awhile. He needed two, one for each hand, and they had to be the same size and usually the same color. He would reject one bigger ball or one blue and one green ball instantly, looking at us as if to say “do these look the same to you!”. He had a particular affinity for our blue dryer balls - yes, the spiky balls we put in our dryer to alleviate static electricity. They had to be the cleanest balls we had in the house and they probably smelled good. And you know, his blonde, curly hair seemed to be averse to standing on end as well. Hmmmm. Odd but very cute. Upon arrival at our house, he would immediately make his way up the stairs and point to the dryer waiting for us to retrieve his precious balls. He has now moved on to sleep sacks - his version of a blanket. Between his parents and us we must have 4 sleep sacks around to make sure he has one when he is feeling tired or out of sorts. It’s almost worth hiding it so we can hear his mournful plea. But we would never do that.
As children, we looked to something that helped console us. And we all turn to something as adults that provides a ray of sunshine in our lives when the day seems just a little cloudy. We are all creatures of comfort.
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