I am sure you do. Filled with wonder, awe, love, tears (the good kind) and other emotions that are beyond description.
I remember. Seeing her face for the first time, memorizing her features, holding this tiny bundle of joy in my arms, studying her small hands and feet and just not wanting to look away, ever. The mystery of creation. Such memories.
My only hope is that Love Monster (that's what my daughter lovingly calls her first child in her blog) has no recollection whatsoever of our first meeting. Let me explain.
As soon as we got the news, we quickly made the arrangements for our long flight to see our first child's first baby...and our daughter too of course! It's important to note that Love Monster was born 5 weeks early and while healthy overall, she was still a premie. As luck would have it, I came down with a severe case of bronchitis just at the time of our trip. I wanted to see her so badly but with my illness and her condition, it was going to be very difficult. Precautions had to be taken. This was where my wife (a nurse) provided the ground rules for my visits - don't get too close or hold her too long AND I must wear rubber gloves and a mask. I understand but really? Yes, really!
As first time grandparents a lot of pictures were taken - a lot. A lot times 10 then double that. It is expected. But I also just couldn't help it. I wanted to capture every facial expression, every movement of her hands and feet and every time I was sure she was only looking at me. I didn't want to miss a thing. And the pictures are so adorable (spoken like a true grandparent). Yes, every single one of the 63 pictures of her sleeping in the crib are just precious.
Love Monster was soothed for hours by the calming voices, smiles and gently arms of her mother and grandmother (Nama as Love Monster and her sister, Smirker, now call her) - a good overdose of motherhood.
Now imagine this little baby seeing her grandpa for the first time.
In my mind I imagined her thinking something like this -
"Whoa! What in the name of mama's breast milk is this?
Yikes! It has nothing below it's eyes.
I can't understand a single word it is saying.
And his hands are powdery and smell like that place where I was born.
It's Grandpa Monster!!!!
If my legs would only work, I would run...run very fast...far, far away.
Well at least as far as my mama's arms."
Love Monster is now 6 1/2 and finds these pictures hysterical probably because she now sees me behind my disguise.
And by the way, she doesn't call me Grandpa Monster.
She calls me Napa.
I do love wine.
I also love Love Monster.
